The Returning Violinist’s Biggest Struggle: Perfectionism and Comparing to Your Former Self

If you’ve picked up the violin again after years or even decades away, you’re not alone. Many of us feel a powerful pull back to music after life has taken us in other directions. Maybe you played in college or music school, and then career, family, or other responsibilities filled your days. Now, after 15 or 20 years, the violin is calling again.

And then reality sets in.

What you hear in your head doesn’t match what comes out of your instrument. Passages you once flew through with ease now feel clumsy. Notes that used to ring with perfect intonation are suddenly just a little sharp or flat. The bow, once your trusted partner, doesn’t seem to obey as it used to. This is where two of the biggest challenges appear: perfectionism and comparing yourself to your former self.

The Trap of Perfectionism

Perfectionism sneaks in disguised as “high standards.” You might tell yourself:

• “I should be able to play this etude without mistakes.”

• “If I can’t play like I used to, why even bother?”

• “I’ll start practicing more seriously once I sound better.”

The problem? Perfectionism doesn’t motivate; it paralyzes. Instead of celebrating progress, perfectionists tend to magnify their flaws. Each squeak, each out-of-tune note, becomes “proof” that you’ll never play the way you want again.

The truth is, the violin has never been about perfection. Even professional soloists have missed notes on stage. What audiences and what you really crave is expression, connection, and joy in the music.

Comparing to Your Former Self

This is perhaps the hardest emotional hurdle for returning violinists. You remember the player you used to be. You can still feel what it was like to perform in an orchestra, ace your repertoire, or have effortless command of technique.

And now? Your fingers don’t quite listen. Your sound isn’t as polished. Sight-reading feels rusty. It’s easy to fall into disappointment: “I’ve lost everything I worked so hard for.”

But here’s a gentle truth: you haven’t lost everything. Muscle memory, ear training, and musicality are still there, waiting. They may be under layers of rust, but they are yours. And now you bring something your younger self didn’t have: life experience, emotional depth, patience, and a new perspective. In other words, you’re not “less than” your former self. You’re different. You’re a musician with a richer story to tell through your playing.

How to Move Past These Blocks

• Redefine success. Instead of “playing perfectly,” set goals like “enjoy 20 minutes of practice” or “play one phrase beautifully.”

• Document your progress. Record yourself once a month—you’ll hear growth you didn’t notice day to day.

• Be kind to your present self. Your college self was at a different stage of life, with hours of daily practice. Now, your goals and circumstances are different. That’s not failure—that’s reality.

• Focus on music, not mechanics. Even a simple scale can be played with beauty, tone, and expression. That’s what makes the violin meaningful.

  
  

Coming back to the violin after 15 or 20 years isn’t about reliving your past. It’s about creating a new relationship with your instrument—one that fits your life now.

Yes, perfectionism will whisper in your ear. Yes, your former self will linger in your memory. But remember: you are not competing with the past. You’re building something new, something authentic, and something rewarding.

Every note, whether shaky or strong, is part of your story as a returning violinist.